Leading with Emotional Intelligence: Integration & Intention | Season 6 Ep. 5

We close out season six by tying emotional intelligence to values-driven leadership so we can lead with clarity instead of letting a to-do list run the show. We share reflection questions, real examples, and a simple “lighthouse” tool that helps us make tough decisions in line with who we are. 

• reflecting on what emotions we bring into leadership each week 
• treating emotions as data that inform decisions and priorities 
• clarifying the difference between emotions and mood 
• defining values as principles shown through actions under pressure 
• using the four EI domains to live values consistently 
• spotting gaps between named values and observable behaviors 
• learning from misalignment and burnout signals when values clash 
• applying the lighthouse exercise to navigate hard choices 
• building trust through authenticity and consistency in relationships 

Right now, we're offering a discount for our listeners, a 20% discount with the code EI20. 

Transcript

Welcome And Season Six Finale

Johanna 0:00

Welcome back to season six of Tackle Tuesday Podcast. And we would like to welcome you also to the final episode of season six. So this season we've been exploring what emotional intelligence looks like in leadership. And today we're going to pull it all together for you. How to lead with clarity, intention, and emotional intelligence going forward. So welcome, Katie. How are you doing today?

Katie 0:25

I'm doing well. How are you doing, Joanna? Good, thank you. Good, good. Well, hello, everyone. Yes, it's already our final episode of season six. It's been a lot of fun to have these. We initially set up the uh season to be mini episodes, and we've kept them on the short and sweet side, and we hope they have provided a lot of value for you and what you've uh been able to pull out in terms of reflections, maybe some insights or tools. But yeah, today we're going to tie it all together and really have a focus on values and emotional intelligence. A lot of what we hear out there, I feel, around leadership may leave us feeling like we need to do more or we need to like kind of push through and be busy and take on more and have more credentials, more skills, just do more, more, more. And what if the real shift, though, is about leading more consciously? And so emotional intelligence provides that compass. It can help us align our actions with our values and our presence with purpose. So Joanna will kick off with a few reflection questions, but a pre-reflection question, if you will, uh, is just for us to start to think of what it would look like if our leadership was guided by values and not just our to-do list. And I think we hear lots about values. So I think inherently a lot of us know that's an important thing, but we do get swept up in the to-do list that is often never ending. So let's start to think about that. And I think the questions you will get into, Joanna, dig a bit deeper.

Johanna 1:45

Okay, so here's our first reflection question. It's about self-awareness. So start by asking what emotions do I bring into my leadership each week. And leadership, think about that as an informal or a formal leader. Because as we said before, leadership is really about the four domains of emotional intelligence, right? So what kind of emotions do you bring into how you uh show up every day? Is another way to think about it. All right. So I think it was either episode one or two. We talked about emotions are not necessarily inherently bad. And to ask someone to keep emotions out of it is like asking them not to breathe. It's an impossible feat. And the one of the things that we like to say is emotions are data. Data is important. Data informs us in terms of what decisions to make, how to make those decisions,

What Emotions Shape Your Leadership

Johanna 2:51

how to shift, pivot. So they reveal what matters most and what might need attention. And the more tuned in we are, so the less we ignore them and pretend they don't exist, but the more we do pay attention to them, the better able we are to hopefully make a decision that will help us achieve the outcomes that are critically important. So leadership growth begins with noticing and naming those patterns of behavior that are to some extent influenced by your emotions and your overall mood. Maybe we should take a second and define the difference between emotions and mood.

Katie 3:28

Yeah, good idea.

Johanna 3:29

Yeah. So emotions like a feeling, something that's happening kind of in in the now, in the present

Emotions As Data And Mood

Johanna 3:34

current moment. A mood is a feeling that happens and transpires over the full day, if you will. So kind of what mood are you in versus what am I feeling right now in the present moment? So your your emotions may, your feelings or emotions may shift throughout the day, but overall, there should be a you should be feeling a certain kind of wave over the course of the day. I don't know if I'm making any sense there. There must be a better way to explain that.

Katie 4:02

I think that made sense. Okay. Yeah, no, I'm following. I think it was good to take a second to make that distinction.

Johanna 4:07

Mm-hmm. Okay, good.

Katie 4:08

And I'm wondering before I get into because I'm gonna pivot a bit to values, but I mean the question that you asked, like what emotions do I bring into my leadership each week? Like maybe we can pause and each reflect a little this week, right? Like we saw kind of a busy back to work from holidays for you. And so I'm just wondering if you have any reflections on that initial question around emotions you brought this week.

Johanna 4:31

Yeah, I'm always tuned into those. My emotions this week, I think, were just uh I was a bit nervous coming into the the beginning of the week, just like, oh, there's so much to do. And then it's it's it's kind of funny when I thought after I had my own business that Mondays I'd be looking forward to be excited about Mondays, but not that's not the case. I still get a little bit anxious come Monday morning, and I don't know why I think this is just a learned pattern of behavior for me. It's kind of stuck with me. So I just I get up, I have a workout. So I'm I'm I know what I need to do to shift my mood. And so I'll have a workout, and it gives me the time to really be thinking about the week ahead, and and my mood shifts from maybe a bit more anxious to excitement. Uh, and so that's that's kind of the emotions I brought into the week.

Katie 5:18

No, it's good. I think it's nice to pause. We had a team meeting yesterday, and we hadn't all been together in a while, and I think it was nice we kicked that off. We've talked about this in other episodes, but with a nice little check-in to get a sense of where we were all at in terms of emotions and used our mood meter, and it was a nice way to go a little deeper than like, how's the day going? Good, great. Yeah, let's jump into the agenda. It was a nice chance to actually connect. And um, for me, it was nice to also take stock of the energy that I've been feeling now that we're all back and we're gearing up to get into a busier season, but that can bring up different feelings for the team. So I think it's important to pause on that. So okay, well, why don't I move us into this thing around values that we want to get to? So, as I said, a lot of I think what's out there in terms of maybe the leadership pressures or advice some of us may be receiving is just to push, set more goals, take on more projects, keep hustling forward. Uh, and maybe that's not even a choice or an option for us. Maybe we're just thrown into a really chaotic environment that's go, go, go. But when we feel this need to take on more, again, set more goals, we know the research shows that goals without meaning quickly lead to fatigue and burnout. Um, and that's where values come in. So values are the core principles that guide your choices and behaviors, especially when it's difficult. They act like a compass, which helps to point us back to really what matters most. But I wanted to take a sec, I mean, values are can sometimes I think be misunderstood or overused, but what we're really talking about here are those principles you constantly return to in how you lead and live. Not when it's easy, but really when it's hard. It's like, what are those core principles that really, really matter? Values aren't just words on a poster or nice sounding intentions. If they don't show up in your actions, they're

Values Over The To-Do List

Katie 7:00

really not values. They might be wishes or aspirations, but um, we really need to consider how we act out and really embody our values. And this is where emotional intelligence can really make the difference. It helps us not just name them but live them. So I'll kind of walk us through the four domains again. Uh each of these episodes has been an opportunity for us to really dig into each of these four domains and kind of make sense of them with the topic at hand. So self-awareness can help us notice the emotions and values that drive us. We both reflected a bit on some of the emotions that popped up for us this week and what that meant for us. Self-management keeps us aligned with those values under pressure. Social awareness can help us see how our values shape team culture. And relationship management builds trust by leading with authenticity and consistency. So, in other words, emotional intelligence is not extra work, it's the how of values-driven leadership. So when your actions line up with your values, leadership feels less like a constant proving and much more like a steady presence. So maybe I'll pause there. I know we've got a couple of reflection questions coming, but what are your thoughts to some of that, Joanna, when we think of values and how emotional intelligence helps us do something with those values, understand them, but really do something with them?

Johanna 8:14

Yeah, because that's what we say is understanding what your values are is really part of self-awareness. And we have a whole activity around getting people to name them and be aware of them. Yeah. Because how it's the I'd say it's part of your operating system. And if you don't know and mix up your operating system, then how do you act with intention? And how do you present yourself with authenticity? So taking the time to name them is critical. And I'd say you shouldn't have a laundry list of them. There should be like a couple of them that you're really clear on that are easy to fulfill rather than having so many that you you can't. And I've had some people say that all your values at work, personal versus professional life, are different. And I disagree. If it's part of your operating system, how do you have a different operating system for work and a different operating system for your family life? To me, that lacks authenticity. Why aren't you the same person? Why are you not consistent and different in from environment to environment? So I disagree with that.

Katie 9:15

Yeah, me too. No, I think that's important to take stock of how this shows up across areas for sure. And I think you'll get in a moment, uh, after we do some reflecting with the next set of questions from the course segment today, is going to talk a bit about that exercise that we have folks go through to identify values. I've also had people sort of say, you know, there's a, you know, okay, go through a list of 30 words, value words, and pick your top, you know, five or three even. And I think people can kind of feel like, well, they're all so many of them are important, or can keep the list really big, but like when you really distill it down, and I think we, you know, we've seen this with our own set of values, there's usually some themes or some clusters also that really kind of fit together. So maybe I'll throw it to you actually to go to the reflection questions, because then perhaps we can share a little bit about some of how our values have showed up, maybe some examples that come to mind.

Johanna 10:07

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Well, and I'll say this as a prompt too, as I as you answer this reflection question. Another way to think about it is that if these values were kind of torn away from you, people wouldn't recognize you. You you would cease to be the person that you are. And right? Yeah, because it's a core part of who you are. It's like that it goes back to that operating system. Like if you remove that from you, you wouldn't be the same person. So that's one way to think about it as we go through these reflection questions. So let's bring this down to you and your leadership. Which value do you say matters most to you as a leader? So this would be informal or formal leader. And how does it actually show up in your daily actions? Second question is Is there a gap between the value you name and the behaviors others might see? And then the last question is how might emotional intelligence help you close that gap, if there is one, through awareness, regulation, and the way you connect with others. Yeah, because at the end of the day, it's not about having values, it's about living them consistently, as Katie mentioned before, especially when it's hard. We say when it comes to organizational culture, and one way to define it is patterns of behavior that really speak to your beliefs, your values, and and really influences how you make decisions. And so going back to the word patterns that we used before, it's it's the same,

Reflection On Values And Behavior Gaps

Johanna 11:42

I think, on an individual level. What are those patterns of behavior that you demonstrate over and over again that really speak to your values? So that question, that second question, based on those patterns of behavior that you demonstrate day to day, are they really aligned with your values? Is there a gap? And why so? Well, what do you, Katie? How did how would you answer those questions?

Katie 12:02

Yeah, I was thinking about in terms of like some of the values that matter most to me as a leader. I I always have like empathy is high on that list. Uh, and that matters not just at work, but how I try and lead, um, I guess, and connect with people in my life, because a second cluster of um values is like community, and I kind of in that put like family and friends and relationships. So there's kind of like a cluster of community or relationship and then empathy. So they they go together pretty well. And I I think I've like I've I've had good awareness for a while that those are pretty core to who I am and how I show up. I think if ever or whenever there is a gap, I think that's when I'm not self-managing, if I think of that second domain. So when I'm not at my best, it's harder for me to lead or show up with empathy. And I think we even reflected a bit on some of that in the episode where we went into stress, right? So being like really burnt out or depleted, I think can make it harder for me to be really

Personal Values In Practice

Katie 13:07

empathetic, I guess, or have that really be at the forefront. So those were some initial thoughts in terms of some of the ones that are most important to me. And when there's a gap, I think I know it. And that's often where I might feel very guilty then in a situation looking back on like, oh, I wasn't really being me. I wasn't able to be empathetic, and that can bring up some uncomfortable feelings if I'm not kind of living those values. So that's what initially came up for me. What about what about you?

Johanna 13:32

My values are really focused on relationships and trying to make a positive difference in other people's lives. And even reflecting on the company values that probably were really my values that I I was gonna ask if you wanted to speak a bit about that, how you got there, yeah. Yeah. Because the company values, like we do have relationships, is one of them. Courage is another. Um, and I think that is, I mean, I talked a lot about me having the courage to like do things that are different and get out of my comfort zone. Because at the end of the day, I want us to be, and myself as an individual, always seeing where the trends are and trying to stay ahead of them, especially as a business owner, uh as an entrepreneur as well. And so those values are very much embedded into who I am and and and the choices that I make for myself as an individual. Like going back to do my PhD really was about doing things better for the organization I was working for. So I think being innovative is really deeply embedded in who I am. And because of that, it drives the decisions that I make, like going back to school, trying new things. I really wanted to enhance my research skills. So doing a PhD, I thought would really be critical for that. And then the other one, like I said, it's just about relationships and being consistent. So these are really the values of our business, and I think are very core to who I am. But if I had to distill it to two things, I would say would be relationships and probably innovation. And I think everything else would stem from that.

Katie 14:58

Well, and it makes sense, and we've talked about this before, but also why it's a good fit for me, because those very closely mirror my values. So it it it's you know kind of a no-brainer why it's a good fit, and I'm able to get a lot of I think fulfillment and alignment because I'd say innovative. Often on my list, I'd put like creativity, um, even like autonomy, like being able to sort of like take the lead and have the space to try some new things. And I think that definitely fits within uh the company's values, your values. Glad to hear that. And and that I think speaks to also, yeah, how we keep going in a week where maybe we're feeling in terms of emotions, thinking how we started the episode and the data, when we're feeling a little off just yesterday, you said, you know, we want this to be fun. We want to be able to be innovative and have projects that really fuel us and make a difference. And I think coming back to that even when there's a bunch of other shit to do, or feeling a little bogged down or a bit overwhelmed, uh, that kind of brought a spark back, I think, in the whole team, right? It's like great, how do we enter into a busy season coming back to those values? Um, so I think that has helped us kind of continue to stay on track, right?

Johanna 16:05

Right. And makes us excited for as as we win new contracts and the work that comes from that, because it's the work that's fun. It's the work that makes us really engaged, right? Yeah.

Katie 16:13

Yeah, exactly.

Johanna 16:14

I also realized that were there the second question about is there a gap between the value you name and the behaviors others might see? I when you talked about that sense of discomfort when you're not living those values, for me it was I'm always living those values. But sometimes in the past, when I've worked for other people or other companies, my values didn't align with their values. Yes. And when that happened, it was because I was being asked to behave in a way that didn't align with who I was as a person. Yeah. And you can only do that for so long and deny yourself the truth of what's happening before your body does something, like have a panic attack one day. Like, what am I doing with my life? This is so I talk about that panic attack that I had one day at 3 a.m. in the morning when I woke up and I'm like, I am, I don't want to do this anymore. And then I decided to start the business at that point.

Katie 17:06

So Yeah, well, and I've shared my own too of leaving what I was doing to come work with you had a similar, it was just like I was so not in alignment and could not see the future career progression where I was, like at all being in align. Like I was way on a different path. So I think those moments are very informative and important to listen to. And I just think of how much like values help us make decisions or work through really hard decisions, right? And I can think of even little things that have come up for us with the company of even like the small error with how we were, I think, like billing a client recently. And we're like, how best do we follow up? And it was back to relationship. Like we're just going to kind of be honest and check in and find a way forward. And let's just call them. Um let's just call and have the yeah. So I think things like that, we're like, oh shoot, like there isn't really a clear-cut way forward, or we made a mistake. I think coming back to those values helps. Yes. And for on something like that, and something as big as like a you know, a career next step or a really major life decision. So I think it's important to lean on and find comfort and values in those hard decision kind of what do I do situations.

Johanna 18:10

So and that leads us right next nicely to the next segment from the course, because we're going to talk about how your values should help you make tough decisions, which we call the lighthouse exercise. So your lighthouse represents your core values, the principles that guide your behavior and decisions, like we said, your operating system, even when the seas get rough. So just like a lighthouse helps ships find their way in the dark, your values are what keep you oriented and true to yourself in moments of pressure and or uncertainty. So here are some key insights. Values are not just nice words on a wall, they're non-negotiables. And I think you spoke to this already, Katie. Yeah. If one of your true values was stripped away, you wouldn't be the same leader, which I spoke about earlier. Living your values means making daily, sometimes difficult choices to embody them, even when it's unpopular. Like going back to that client when we realized we didn't quote the right price accidentally. Yeah. Right. It would have been easy to hide behind an email and just send that. Oh, yeah. And then we thought about, well, like what are our values and like what is the core of

The Lighthouse Exercise For Decisions

Johanna 19:16

what we do and how we do? And we're like, it's about the relationships. How do we approach this while still maintaining a good relationship? We thought, let's just call, let's take accountability. And we did that and it and it worked worked out well. Yeah. So in the course that we offer, the emotionally intelligent leader, participants identify their personal lighthouse and they connect them back to emotional intelligence. So, for example, self-awareness, it's all about understanding and recognizing and identifying what those values are. Self-management is regulating your emotions so you can act in alignment with them. Social awareness is noticing how your values shape the culture you create for your team. And as an individual contributor, this is very true. It's not only up to your bosses, it's not only up to them, and it's not just their responsibility to do that. Yes, they do set the tone in terms of how they show up and what they say and what they do. But that doesn't mean you can go ahead and start sabotaging efforts because it's not your responsibility or not contribute to a positive culture, right? Relationship management, building trust by leading with consistency and authenticity. So many leaders tell us this exercise is a turning point because it helps them stop drifting with every demand and start seeing with clarity. Now, if you'd like to do the full kind of leadership compass exercise, we encourage you to take the course. Right now, we're offering a discount for our listeners, a 20% discount with the code EI20. So that will be in the show notes with a link to the course. If you have any questions, don't hesitate to contact us. Our information is in the show notes. We'd love to let you know more, share more about the course, or answer any questions you have. But we really, it's a really affordable course. And if you're really looking at enhancing your self-awareness, your emotional intelligence, this is a really good course. And we've had people in law enforcement, government contacts, nonprofit, and private companies take this course. And we've had hundreds of people go through it. So that's our last episode. I'll hand it over to Katie to wrap things up for us.

Katie 21:17

Yeah. Well, I'm I'm yeah, grateful to have had the chance, Joanna, to co-host another season with you. This was a lot of fun to, in some ways, go back to basics for us, with emotional intelligence being that foundational concept that is so core to all the work that we do, all the leadership training. We covered a lot of topics. Um, we started off really by getting into the basics of emotional intelligence. We talked about stress, we talked about feedback, um, being able to explore values just now is uh a really important way to close. And so I kind of want to hear if you have any, I'm going a little off script here, but any like final thoughts. And I see you as definitely our in house experts on emotional intelligence given your PhD research. I guess. Final, like closing thought that you want to share with listeners around emotional intelligence. Is there kind of like a key takeaway or call to action? I'm putting you on the spot. I went, I went a little off. It's the final episode, so I wanted to do something a little different.

Johanna 22:16

No, I'm glad that I appreciate you doing that. I'd say don't underestimate the power of developing your emotional intelligence. If you're looking

Closing Case For Building EI

Johanna 22:23

for a magic bullet, if you will, to be more successful in life, invest in developing your EI. The time that it takes, getting feedback, taking some training courses, listening to these podcasts, it will make a huge difference in your life. It's, I know I called it the magic bullet, but obviously there's a lot of work that goes behind doing it. But if you're intentional but wanting to develop your emotional intelligence, it will go a long way in helping you be happy and will increase your overall well-being in your personal and your professional life. When I see people who are really stressed out, people who are really struggling emotionally, people who are really struggling to succeed, one of the common things that I see is that they have no self-awareness, no self-awareness. Oh my God. And that really prevents them from being able to connect to other human beings. So, and and being emotionally intelligent applies to all industries and all workplaces. We've had some people in law enforcement say that this is more appropriate for an office context. And I'm, I think that's a cop-out. Yeah. And it's for people who don't want to put in the time and the effort. And let me tell you, especially in law enforcement, it is critically important. Absolutely. You work with the community. If you work with people, you have stakeholders, you work with the public. Yeah, you better invest in your emotional intelligence because you're gonna find it really hard to succeed and be fulfilled in your work day to day.

Katie 23:40

That's my takeaway. Completely. And I'd say, I'd say even beyond that, it's not just a work skill or a work requirement. Emotional intelligence helps us in all of the ways we connect and all the relationships in our lives outside of the office. So I just think it's important to recognize emotional intelligence is incredibly beneficial in all facets. And it's it's a journey, right? Um, you know lots about this. We teach on this stuff, but we, you know, every kind of new situation, there's always opportunity to enhance our emotional intelligence and continue to be humbled by the self-awareness journey at kind of the foundation of emotional intelligence. So I think that's maybe one of my takeaways after doing this season is just the reminder that it it's it's a journey. We're always learning, and we can always become more emotionally intelligent as different situations sort of test and challenge us. Love it. Well said. Yeah, well, uh again, thank you, listeners, for tuning in to this season of Tackle Tuesday. Uh, we look forward to hopefully connecting uh with you perhaps through the course, some of our other offerings and uh next season. So take care. We look forward to tackling some new things next season with you.